Thursday, June 25, 2009
Off balance...and loving it!
Isn't it strange how life can suddenly change gear and throw you completely off balance?
Not long ago, I was pootling along very nicely thinking that I finally had it all sorted out; regular (if small) income from the UK, a lovely house to renovate slowly, working on my golf handicap, sharing good times with friends visiting. Drinking good wine, gently following the seasons and festivals of the year's circle. OK so I had left Narnia - or rather Narnia had locked the wardrobe door and left me stuck on the wrong side. Not really looking for a new partner but hoping that the Goddess would be kind enough to send one in my direction. Well all that is up in the air now! There is a new woman in my life and it feels as though I have known her all my life. Life has just put it's foot on the loud pedal and the scenery is flying past at 1000mph and I'm hanging on to the sides.
Woooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.......................
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Synchronicity
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The meaningful coincidence of unrelated events or, as Jung put it, “temporally coincident occurrences of acausal events.” Like when someone, with whom you haven’t spoken for ages, phones you just as you’re about to call them - as happened on Friday with my friend Jade. Or when somebody knocks on your door just because they’re passing and has the solution to a problem they knew nothing about; like Bob and Wendy, also on Friday.
Or like today, when I suddenly decided to go for a walk down a particular quiet little lane to pick nettles for my dinner and a woman I dated twice last autumn happens to drive past, recognises me from behind as I’m bending over to pick the nettles and suggests I join her (and new girlfriend unfortunately) at the cinema an hour later.
The theory or premise is that these events are in fact related within the “collective unconscious” That our individual experience of life, the universe and every thing is actually part of a greater experience connecting as many levels of creation as your own philosophy can include.
Others will call it magical or the answer to prayer.
Others will call it magical or the answer to prayer.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Impotence and the L WORD
I know that Erectile Dysfunction is a problem. For men. And that is the point. Why should a program by Lesbians, for Lesbians have an advert about Erectile Dysfunction during it's first commercial break? (The L Word, Living 2, Tuesday 7th April 2009)
My friend Cath pointed out that "Men like watching Lesbians, don't they?".
Unfortunately all too true. And yes, it is a power thing. If the powers that be truly wanted to represent life in the UK in the 21st century then we would be seeing LGBT people in ordinary situations in the media far more frequently than the occasional "token gay" we have at the moment.
And while I'm ranting about unequal distribution, let's consider the ratio of lesbians to gay men in those same media.
Once you get away from the soaps and the dramas, the world of TV comedy seems to be overrun with gay men and gay/queer male characters. Think Little Britain, Steven Fry, Danny La Rue, Will and Grace etc etc etc. How many lesbian characters or out lesbian performers can you think of? Ellen and Sandi, of course, Sue P and Claire B and...hmmm... oh yes Sophie Ward and didn't Angelina used to enjoy swimming in sapphic seas? Before she married Brad, settled down with children and stopped being exciting. And how many of the actresses playing lesbian roles on our screens are in fact lesbian? And that includes the L Word. I'm not saying that gay people should only play gay parts. To be honest the Film, TV and Theatre industries would be, and would have been, much poorer without gay actors. Nor that you have to be gay to play a gay role - far from it. As long as it is a faithful portrayal of a gay person or a gay relationship, I don't care who plays it. Just as long as it is there because it is showing or exploring real life. Or finding the real humour in a situation.
Humour is not a synonym of humiliation.
In terms of their relationships and male hegemony, for many straight men, lesbians are a threat and unpredictable while gay men are not.
We have had "lesbian moments" in TV adverts over the last few years - not many, I grant you but nevertheless. We have had Katy Perry telling us that she kissed a girl and she liked it. Even if she was then at pains to point out that a) she is straight and b) she really does support gay rights. We've had Madonna kissing Britney in the name of pop publicity. With hindsight it all seems just too cheap. The more I think about it, the more marginalised I feel as a lesbian in what those in charge (still mainly men) see as a straight world. My ex, who shall be known as 'Mrs T', refused to show affection in public because she didn't want to rub our gay relationship in the faces of straights. I would point out, until I was blue in the face, that those same straights rubbed their heterosexuality in my lesbian face on a depressingly regular basis simply by assuming their sexuality to be 'normal'. And by extrapolation, my sexuality is therefore abnormal.
Not for me, honey!
The irony of that advert is that it occurs in the middle of a story line which complains that the message of a lesbian film, by lesbians, for lesbians is destroyed because the name of the film and its "happy ending" are changed, by the straights in charge of marketing, to be heterosexually biased.
No doubt the erectionally dysfunctional voyeurs and wankers thought that was a good thing!
Incidentally, check out this link
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=29350048
with an appropriate comment from Julia Stretch
My friend Cath pointed out that "Men like watching Lesbians, don't they?".
Unfortunately all too true. And yes, it is a power thing. If the powers that be truly wanted to represent life in the UK in the 21st century then we would be seeing LGBT people in ordinary situations in the media far more frequently than the occasional "token gay" we have at the moment.
And while I'm ranting about unequal distribution, let's consider the ratio of lesbians to gay men in those same media.
Once you get away from the soaps and the dramas, the world of TV comedy seems to be overrun with gay men and gay/queer male characters. Think Little Britain, Steven Fry, Danny La Rue, Will and Grace etc etc etc. How many lesbian characters or out lesbian performers can you think of? Ellen and Sandi, of course, Sue P and Claire B and...hmmm... oh yes Sophie Ward and didn't Angelina used to enjoy swimming in sapphic seas? Before she married Brad, settled down with children and stopped being exciting. And how many of the actresses playing lesbian roles on our screens are in fact lesbian? And that includes the L Word. I'm not saying that gay people should only play gay parts. To be honest the Film, TV and Theatre industries would be, and would have been, much poorer without gay actors. Nor that you have to be gay to play a gay role - far from it. As long as it is a faithful portrayal of a gay person or a gay relationship, I don't care who plays it. Just as long as it is there because it is showing or exploring real life. Or finding the real humour in a situation.
Humour is not a synonym of humiliation.
In terms of their relationships and male hegemony, for many straight men, lesbians are a threat and unpredictable while gay men are not.
We have had "lesbian moments" in TV adverts over the last few years - not many, I grant you but nevertheless. We have had Katy Perry telling us that she kissed a girl and she liked it. Even if she was then at pains to point out that a) she is straight and b) she really does support gay rights. We've had Madonna kissing Britney in the name of pop publicity. With hindsight it all seems just too cheap. The more I think about it, the more marginalised I feel as a lesbian in what those in charge (still mainly men) see as a straight world. My ex, who shall be known as 'Mrs T', refused to show affection in public because she didn't want to rub our gay relationship in the faces of straights. I would point out, until I was blue in the face, that those same straights rubbed their heterosexuality in my lesbian face on a depressingly regular basis simply by assuming their sexuality to be 'normal'. And by extrapolation, my sexuality is therefore abnormal.
Not for me, honey!
The irony of that advert is that it occurs in the middle of a story line which complains that the message of a lesbian film, by lesbians, for lesbians is destroyed because the name of the film and its "happy ending" are changed, by the straights in charge of marketing, to be heterosexually biased.
No doubt the erectionally dysfunctional voyeurs and wankers thought that was a good thing!
Incidentally, check out this link
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=29350048
with an appropriate comment from Julia Stretch
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
The next project
Well that's got the next project sorted out then!
After I finish installing the new bath and tiling and flooring the bathroom, I'll have to start on the kitchen sink. Take out the existing big china one - yes I know! I thought it would be an asset but it is a bit chipped and stained and a nightmare to keep cleaned. So it will be relegated to the cave where I've already put in a water supply. The washing machine and tumble dryer are already out there and I will have somewhere to wash my golf clubs, clean paint brushes etc etc.
I've seen some slate effect 60cm square floor tiles up at Bricomarché which I think will go beautifully to make the work surface and surround. More interesting learning curves. Lucky I'm so butch really, lol! Luckily I'm also getting pretty good at building kitchen furniture.
After I finish installing the new bath and tiling and flooring the bathroom, I'll have to start on the kitchen sink. Take out the existing big china one - yes I know! I thought it would be an asset but it is a bit chipped and stained and a nightmare to keep cleaned. So it will be relegated to the cave where I've already put in a water supply. The washing machine and tumble dryer are already out there and I will have somewhere to wash my golf clubs, clean paint brushes etc etc.
I've seen some slate effect 60cm square floor tiles up at Bricomarché which I think will go beautifully to make the work surface and surround. More interesting learning curves. Lucky I'm so butch really, lol! Luckily I'm also getting pretty good at building kitchen furniture.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Homophobia vs Email Funnies
Well here's a controversial start to this blog.
A friend just sent me, as he often does, some funnies by email. Normally I just look through, laugh if they're funny, forward them to others if they're worth it and then forget them. This evening, though, I didn't find the joke funny and then, immediately afterwards, received another email from a LGBT organisation containing an article detailing a spate of fatal hate crimes against gay and trans people in Turkey. (Link to the article)
I reacted by emailing my friend with a copy of the article and pointing out the connection with his "funny". Did I over react? Should I just turn a blind eye to humour which ridicules LGBT people knowing that he hasn't seen the danger?
A friend just sent me, as he often does, some funnies by email. Normally I just look through, laugh if they're funny, forward them to others if they're worth it and then forget them. This evening, though, I didn't find the joke funny and then, immediately afterwards, received another email from a LGBT organisation containing an article detailing a spate of fatal hate crimes against gay and trans people in Turkey. (Link to the article)
I reacted by emailing my friend with a copy of the article and pointing out the connection with his "funny". Did I over react? Should I just turn a blind eye to humour which ridicules LGBT people knowing that he hasn't seen the danger?
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